Depressed Teenager
by lynnr5
Summary: "But sometimes I still feel sad."/ AustinxAlly


I sat in my room, headphones in my ear, trying to forget everything. _Everything. _

There was a sharp bang from outside my room.

At first I didn't notice it, headphones in and everything, but it came again. It didn't scare me. This happened almost every night.

I wanted it to stop.

"Mom," I whispered, walking into the dark hallway. "Mom, where are you?"

"Al-Ally?" Mom questioned, and I saw her shadowy figure appear. "A-Ally, can y-you heelp me to, uh, bed," she slurred, smiling at me.

Her smile disgusted me. No, everything about her disgusted me.

"Whatever," I muttered, grabbing her lifeless body and pulled her to her bedroom. She tripped maybe ten times just in the small way to her room.

I had to help her out of her dress, the skintight, red, stripper dress. Her makeup was done so I could barely see her pretty green eyes. Not only did I hate undressing my mom, it was worse when I had to see what was under the dresses.

The skimpy lingerie made of thin red or pink lace, the bellybutton piercing, all the tattoos, and sometimes the occasional hickey.

It almost made me sick.

"Go to sleep, Mom," I whispered, throwing her body into bed. "Night."

Somehow, I managed to bring my body back to my room, flopping onto the thin material on the bed.

My body was just so _tired._

I began to cry. Nothing new, just a few tears that eventually turned into millions. Millions of teardrops on the sheets.

My phone beeped, indicating a new message. And it was from my friend, my only friend. Austin Moon.

It read: _Hey, Ally. Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You know I love you, right? _

I couldn't help but smile. He was just so thoughtful.

He knew about my depression. I'd fallen into it when I was twelve.

Some people thought I was exaggerating; that someone that young was just going through my fair share of puberty.

Sometime even I thought that was the case. But it was more than that.

It was a sadness. A sadness that kept me from doing things. All because I hated myself.

I decided I'd text him back: _Hey, Austin. I'm not doing so well. I love you, too._

Lying to him has got to be the hardest thing to do, so there's no way I was going to.

My body craved rest, but when I tried, I couldn't.

Tonight, 2:00 a.m. became one of my earliest times.

* * *

I woke up, finding the strength to push myself out of bed.

My Bring Me The Horizon t-shirt was the first thing I found, so I decided on that with black skinny jeans.

Not that what I wear is going to make me feel better about how I look.

_You're so ugly... _I thought. _Clothes aren't going to help._

I knew the morning ritual by now.

Mom smoked in the garage. Marijuana, usually.

"Mom?" I asked, walking into the garage where she sat. "Hand me a blunt. Please."

She handed me one carelessly. I really hope it was because she was high and hungover.

Because it not, I had even more of a reason to hate myself.

"Thanks," I yelped, bringing the smoke up to my dry lips.

Sometimes it felt really good to let go, and get high.

You forget everything. And that's what I've always wanted.

"Ally?" a soft voice whimpered, the sight of me smoking unbearable. "Ally, don't smoke."

"Austin." I pulled him inside. "I need this. It helps me."

"But Ally. It's bad for you," he whispered.

"I know they're bad, Austin. But the reason I'm smoking's even worse than the smoke itself."

The sadness in his eyes were clear. I couldn't bare to see him in the shape I was in.

"Please, Alls. Please try. For me?"

"Okay." I tossed the blunt outside. It was a simple action, but I knew Austin was grateful I obeyed.

"I'm gonna use the bathroom. I'll be right out." I nodded, allowing him to slip away.

Why does life suck so bad?

Even Austin, one of the most happiest, kindest people on Earth, can't make me happy.

He'll never love me.

That's another thing that makes me so... sad.

"Ally? What is this?" an angry voice catches me out of my thoughts.

I looked towards Austin. He had tears in his eyes.

"Answer me!"

He held my blade in his hand. The bloody blade.

"A-Austin. I need relief from all the other pain I have. You have to understand."

"Ally, all that I understand it that you're hurting yourself," he whispered. "This can kill you. Just like that."

"Austin-"

"Ally, you don't understand how much you mean to me. How much I care about you. How much I _love_ you. I love you so much, Ally."

"You love me?"

"So much." His eyes met mine, and he leaned in. And when our lips met, I swear I felt happier.

So much happier.

And now, we're dating.

Yep, Austin and I are dating. I love him to pieces.

I stopped cutting. I stopped smoking.

I'm better.

All because of him. Austin Monica Moon.

I'm happy now. He made me happy.

But sometimes, I still feel sad.

* * *

**A/N: It's supposed to have a sad ending, so don't be rude about it or anything. **

**I'm trying to express how bad depression can be. Depression doesn't just go away, it takes time.**

**I, myself, suffer from depression and I know how it feels to be happy, and feel at the top of the World, and then feel sad. It happens to many people.**

**Not every story has a happy ending. **

**Review?**


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